Age old topic revisited: Can men and women ever just be friends? A question so important that there had to be a movie about the issue. Everyone one remembers When Harry Met Sally.
Side Note: Best quote from the movie “So then I snuck into her willage”
At the end of that movie they succeeded in proving that NO- men and women can’t just be friends. As much as Meg Ryan’s character in her flighty batty way that has made her million’s of dollars protested the fact- she ended up falling for the Billy Crystal character.
It is the natural reaction though- did anyone leave the audience or turn off the movie expecting any differently? Deep down we all know the answer: NO. Someone is always attracted at some level to the member of the opposite sex that they call their friend. Yes there are always exceptions- but by and large- its true that one person in a male/female relationship will find the other attractive enough on some level to want to be with them.
But its OK for that to happen. There is nothing wrong with that! We are biologically programmed that way. We seek it out as a basic instinct.
Why would we pick a mate that was fundamentally different than the kind of person from the opposite gender that we would choose to make our friend?
How many times have we been at weddings where the bride or the groom make the statement “I married my best friend.” The level of trust we must have with someone to make them our best friend break down the walls that we put up to protect ourselves. Friends have the capability to hurt us as badly as lovers do, and sometimes even more. It is natural to want to hold onto that feeling of security and trust and many times it becomes love on a romantic level.
It does become difficult, however, when the friend you have doesn’t feel the same way. For whatever reason they are your friend, but either not as into you as you are into them- or they have someone else in mind that they would rather be with. This is the difficult situation that no one likes to find themselves in, but most of us probably have. Sometimes the friendship means more to the other than the potential relationship. Sex complicates everything so taking it to that level could destroy even the most solid of friendships. I’m a victim of this myself, and though I don’t regret my decisions, I wish it could have ended differently.
I’m curious to know if there are any strictly platonic friendships out there- from both sides. I am not saying that there has to be any physical ACTION between friends but that there is the DESIRE for it, even if circumstances permit it. For instance: married friends.
I might be inexperienced in this realm, not having been married myself, but from what I can tell in my short lifespan so far- its not possible but it is natural and we shouldn’t get hung up on it.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
~~Do you ever look up into the sky in the afternoon and notice the moon is still visible? That is what i endeavor to be: The random occurance that makes you pause to think about the grander scheme of it all, if only for a moment~~
3 comments:
well i agree with you on this one 100% ...ive found it next to impossible to be just friends with girls i really like. The traits i look for in a friend are the same that i look for in a lover or partner. However, i have found that its best to get the next step out of the way be that a romantic proposal or a kiss... A kiss can tell a lot if you kiss and there is no spark... your mind is put at ease and one can be great friends ! nothing ventured nothing gained... I always find its best to go for it with a friend , if they are a true friend they will be flattered, and "love" you even more for "loving them". I honeslty beleive a kiss between friends is not something to be avoided but embraced.
I know where you're coming from, but I must disagree. Most of my friends are men because I just don't get along that well with women. That's not to say that I don't flirt with (or more) my men friends from time to time, but it's never hurt the friendship.
I love my husband and he is my friend, but we dated first and became friends as we dated, not vice versa.
My friend Jane, I met when she was my brothers girlfriend, back in the late 70's. She's my height, my colouring, and by all accounts, very attractive. All of my male mates fancied her. I honestly cannot recall whether I fancied her or not at first, but I don't think so. She is attractively built, but I cannot recall there ever being any sexual attraction between us (or at least, on my part).
Jane and I have been mates for years - ever since then. We lived in the same town for a year then she moved away and when we again lived in the same town several years later, our friendship took off where it left off and continued as before.
Jane and I are great mates, though she no longer lives near. And we always will be. When (or if) I see her again, it will instantly be as if we were never apart.
So yes - a purely platonic relationship between mates of different sexes is possible.
Post a Comment